Humans aren’t magnets. For relationships, opposites do not attract.
Someone on the internet will gladly jump in now to pontificate about how wonderful their relationship is despite their many differences. Perhaps those differences generated attraction in the first place.
Not to say those relationships are doomed to fail but enough(1) evidence(2) suggests(3) they’re less likely to succeed.
The latest season of the “Love Is Blind” reality TV series showcases some compatibility issues between a couple — Ramses, a nonprofit employee, and Marissa, a lawyer and U.S. military veteran.
Ramses was concerned about their future because Marissa didn’t want to have sex while she was sick.
“Sex is really important. Just trying to figure out long-term if that would be an issue for me,” Ramses says on the show.
Ramses doesn’t want to wear condoms. Marissa doesn’t want to go on birth control.
Ramses wants to wait four years to have children. Marissa wants to have a child sooner.
‘Love Is Blind’ Mismatch?
Viewers in Reddit’s /LoveIsBlindNetflix community wonder if the love story will last.
“When he said he’d divorce her if she went back to the military, I already knew he had a very different view of what marriage is. LOL,” /u Spiritual-Chicken734 wrote.
“To present himself as this leftist/social justice warrior/anti-military/hipster guy and then the minute contraception and her not wanting to have sex cos she’s sick….I’m honestly gobsmacked,” /u Embarrassed_Sky_5616 wrote.
Perhaps it’s just intensified drama generated by producers.
“I think it’s absolutely production piecing a story together to make him look bad. IMO Ramses is a good guy, at least I hope!” /u beepbeepbadoop wrote.
Though differences in couples are guaranteed, those contrasts could affect your sex life.
In Reddit’s r/sex community, someone sought advice over a mismatch in initiating sex with their wife.
“When she wants it she’s as blunt as can be [and] gets laid on demand,” /u lancer_AR wrote. “Me on the other hand, I can’t be blunt. She doesn’t like it.”
One Reddit user said it’s important to figure out how the OP’s wife would want sex to be initiated.
“Ask her to truly think about it and tell you how she would like to be seduced and approached … she needs to communicate her desires,” /u 6352956104 wrote, while also recommending they schedule sex ahead of time.
Another Redditor suggested having predetermined non-verbal initializations that signal interest, such as “lighting a candle in the bedroom or setting articles of clothing or toys out, so that it’s known without saying that you’d be down if she is.”
“You are two individuals with differing wants, needs and drives. Sex requires that BOTH people be in the headspace of wanting to do it in order for it to be enjoyable,” /u reluctantdonkey wrote.
Need more sex communication advice? Learn how to talk dirty to your partner without sounding cringy.