At first, I ignored the term “situationships.” I thought it’d be just another temporary superfluous word created online that tries to overly complicate a concept. I’m too old to care about every new internet phrase or Gen Z utterance. But, for better or worse, “situationships” is here to stay.
I’m not here to fight you, Gen Z. I’m just a millennial trying to tackle a new layer of understanding about the human experience. It’s something I must accept considering I recently heard the word used in a Broadway play after months of intermittent references in real life.
Keeping in mind that the millennial term “ghosting” and the Gen Z term “rizz” made it to the dictionary, it’s quite likely “situationships” will be immortalized, too. Let’s get to it and define the purposely undefinable.
What Is a Situationship?
A situationship is a casual, undefined relationship somewhere in the relationship spectrum between friendship and a committed romance. Characteristics include flexibility, emotional ambiguity and a lack of commitment.
With those parameters, situationships offer companionship without the pressures of a traditional relationship. You can learn more about yourself and what you’re looking for while you’re exploring and having a fun experience. At best, there’s also symbiotic emotional support. This may not be your forever person, but they’re here now.
“I’m in a Situationship. We see each other 1-3 times a week, text many times a day, help each other with stuff, go on dates, go out to eat, have sex a lot. But we aren’t bf/gf,” u/ DesperateToNotDream wrote about her situationship on Reddit’s r/dating community. “[Friends With Benefits ] is just sex mostly, so a Situationship is when it’s more than fwb but less than an official relationship.”
Am I In a Situationship?
If you’ve been seeing someone for some time and neither you nor the other person has made an attempt to define what you’ve been doing or what you mean to one another, you could be in a situationship.
In a situationship, the present comes first and the future is elusive. Situationships can start as casual flings that developed over time — perhaps past the point where it may have been healthier to either move on or to establish a defined committed relationship.
Is a Situationship Right for Me?
Situationships are not for everyone. For some, a simple, transactional relationship is fine, but for others, it’s not easy to invest time and energy into something that won’t evolve. Everyone wants to feel safe and wanted.
If you’re in a situationship and you’re uncomfortable, it’s important to first address how you feel about it. Then consider the emotions of the person with whom you’re involved with. If there’s divergent feelings and differing expectations, it’s important to address them in a healthy, honest and respectful manner.
That said, some may struggle with this. It’s scary to have a serious conversation about a romantic relationship. The timing could be off, or feelings may not be aligned. The fear of rejection could also prevent someone from asking about the relationship to define it or to ask for commitment.
Remember that if you’re spending so much time with someone, you must like them at some level. If the situationship is healthy, then there should be mutual care. If it isn’t healthy and it’s causing more harm than good, it may be time to move on.
You’ve been in a relationship but now there’s a request to change the rules of engagement. Could you transition to an open relationship?
