If you’ve never had issues with premature ejaculation, consider yourself lucky. Up to 40% of men have experienced it at some point in their lives.
An important fact about premature ejaculation, or PE, is that there isn’t a stopwatch connected to some rule that determines whether or not you have PE. One couple’s 3 minutes in heaven is another couple’s cause for concern.
On average and with varying degrees, it takes 5 to 7 minutes for a man to reach orgasm, according to one study. The causes for PE could be physical, such as unusual hormone levels, or emotional, such as stress, anxiety and depression.
Basically, the definition for PE is “ejaculating before you/your partner would like.”
If PE is affecting your love life, what can you do?
Before Sexy Time
Introspection: What do you think could be causing this? Is this a recent development or something you’ve been struggling with for some time? You’ll have to figure out as much as you can about this to properly address the issue.
Communicate with your partner: It’s not a comfortable discussion to have. No one wants to feel inadequate but if you don’t discuss the problem in a healthy manner, then it’s more difficult to come up with solutions.
Consult a medical professional: Talk to your doctor, who could help you further assess what could be causing PE.
During Sexy Time
Seeking advice on how to improve her and her boyfriend’s sex life, one woman on Reddit’s r/sex community said she’s “frequently left unsatisfied” because her boyfriend is a “one and done kind of guy” and “lasts at most 2 minutes once we actually get going.”
Recommendations from Redditors include spending more time on foreplay, oral sex and introducing toys.
Exercise can also help, especially Kegel exercises.
“What he can do: exercise/workout/cardiovascular exercises will build up his confidence and stamina My best sex is when I’m in shape/healthy,” u/Moist-Gap-1590 wrote.
During sex, a couple could implement the start-stop technique, also known as edging, in which you stop sexual stimulation when the point of orgasm draws near. Desensitizing lubes and delay sprays can also help with longevity.
As you’ve surmised, there’s no single remedy to prevent premature ejaculation. There are, however, plenty of actions you can take to help.
Some men have issues with PE due to bad habits when younger, “often masturbating quickly in an effort not to get caught, etc.,” u/Academic-Koala6924 wrote.
“Ejaculation is a sympathetic nervous system response, so if he has conditioned himself he needs to retrain his nervous system to recognise those bodily sensations of when he is close to cumming and learn to control it,” u/Academic-Koala6924 said. “To do this he should try to slow and control his breathing during sex or masturbating etc. Slower breathing will keep his nervous system in a more relaxed state.”
Need more relationship advice? Check out these tips on making long-distance relationships work.