No one wants to sit (or lay) through a mediocre performance. Guys, what we’re saying is this – by virtue of the “Golden Rule,” if you like receiving good oral sex, you better be willing to learn how to give good tongue.
In the same way that an off-pitch singer can ruin a concert, an unsatisfactory act of cunnilingus can damage the mood. We at Playboy assume no one wants to be known as “the person who gives bad head”, so let’s get quality oral work the respect it deserves.
A woman dissatisfied with her partner’s eating-out skills — which are, in her words, “subpar at best” — asked Reddit’s r/sex community a deceptively simple question: “How to teach my man how to eat pussy?”
“Alright y’all so I don’t get oral very much and honestly haven’t been bothered by it because well…. he is a little behind in that department. He fucks me great! But I find myself trying to get away when he decides he wants to eat it. I try to lay back and relax but it’s subpar at best,” u/Psilocybe_Brat666 wrote on r/sex.
Though she said she doesn’t want to make her partner feel inadequate, she wants to “at least coach him into the right spot.”
“I’ve tried moving my hips to position myself where it feels good and it’s like he’s fighting my direction,” she wrote.
In any type of relationship, communication is paramount. When it comes to eating out, verbal and nonverbal communication is essential for both partners. It’s just as important to ask for feedback as it is to provide feedback.
During oral sex, considering you’re both very vulnerable as you’re sharing such a personal moment — we should try not to be shy about our desires.
Of course, the style of communication definitely depends on the dynamics of the relationship and comfort levels. Even outside the bedroom, it can be difficult for people to express their wants. However, honesty is absolutely worth the effort for good oral sex.
Oral Sex Starts With Talking
The most upvoted comment in the post is from /u PepperMyPapaya, who encourages playful indirect prompting by gently hinting what you want in the context of being “teased.”
PepperMyPapaya provided a script, even: “Baby quit teasing me already! I want it so bad, just the clit right in the center plleeeeaasse omg you’re driving me insane I want it so bad. Oh shit that’s it, a little higher, omg omg yes don’t stop!”
“Act like you think he’s teasing you on purpose. Tell him what you actually want,” PepperMyPapaya wrote.
Another user reinforced the idea that “Communication is key,” adding that it might be best to discuss pathways to improvement before engaging in oral sex instead of during or immediately afterwards.
If someone doesn’t pick up on a nonverbal hint like hip-shifting, maybe it’s necessary to vocalize and explain.
“I think every man wants to please their partner and I would like to think we can take constructive criticism or pointers. Instead of repositioning yourself try talking and telling him what it is that you’re actually trying to do when moving. The movement during sex could be taken as extreme pleasure or an out of body experience,” /u UghMal-Guh-M8Shun wrote.
Other top oral sex tips include starting slow, being gentle, taking your time and using your hands, including for G-spot stimulation.
And, don’t forget, to get good at something you must practice, practice, practice.